Okay, here I go.. Writing another pointless letter about pointless things that you probably don’t give a damn about. & here you go again, not giving a damn how much you hurt me. Maybe you don’t realize what you’re doing but if someone else were to be doing what you do, you’d be talking so much shit about them. But, that’s how it usually works. People become who they said they’d never become, right? But, no, you’re not completely bad.. At least I don’t think so. If I thought that, I wouldn’t care for you the way I do. I would say fuck it, & would have given up on you a long time ago. But I didn’t.. Why can’t I give up on you? Why am I constantly waiting for you even though I know there’s no point, ‘cause you’ll never let me stop waiting. Why don’t you love me the way I’ve grown to love you? Huh, love is such a funny thing, really. One minute, two people can be so completely in love with each other… so completely in love. & then, the next minute, one person decides that they’re not in love anymore. & they decide that they don’t want that person anymore. & what do they do? do they leave? no, of course not. ‘cause they love, no sorry, my bad. they CARE about the person enough to stick around & make sure they’re okay. & they let the other person continue to be in love with them. they let them continue to fall more & more every single day. but, seriously, don’t tell someone you love them if you don’t. don’t make them think they’re your only one, if they aren’t. & don’t make them fall in love with you if you have no true intentions of catching them. just don’t do it. not only does it make you an asshole, but it makes the person who fell for you feel like a fucking idiot. it makes them feel worthless. WORTHLESS. do you like the fact that you made me feel worthless? but, wait, this doesn’t just apply to me. this applies to every girl you’ve ever screwed over. just don’t do it. okay? okay, cool. & don’t give me the whole “we can be friends” shit, ‘cause no. i don’t want to be just friends, & you know that. you know i want so much more than that, but no. you don’t get it, do you? the only reason i stick around is because i love you that much. ‘cause i’d rather be your friend than be nothing at all. & if you read this letter, you’ll probably get really mad at me, & tell me off, maybe call me a bitch, & tell me how fucking stupid i am, but save it. i’ve heard it before. & if you mean all those things, why do you still allow me to be in your life? if you really meant all that, you’d have left me a long time ago. but, that’s besides the point. no, the point is that i’m tired of hurting, but i won’t give up the pain ‘cause that would mean giving you up. & that BOTHERS me. i can’t understand why i can’t let you go. this isn’t even a letter. it’s a really long, not even a real paragraph, mash-up of all my feelings. but wait, if i’m talking about my feelings, let me talk about the not so harsh ones.. let’s talk about how much i love you. & how i’d do anything for you. & let’s talk about how i put up with everything you do ‘cause it makes you who you are, & it makes me happy to know that i’m here for you. you make me happy, which is SO hard to do. you make me feel like a kid again. i giggle when i talk to you. I NEVER GIGGLE. you are the only one who can make me feel pretty, smart, funny, & just amazing.. fucking amazing. hahah. i really do love you, even though you’re too blind to realize that. & i know that in the end, it would work out for you & i. we could make each other happy.. we see past whatever mask the other tries to wear. we’re too much alike, to similar to not be able to make the other happy. it makes sense, you know? ‘cause it’s not so often you find someone that you can be your total self with, not so often that you meet someone who can relate to you, find someone who gets you. some who you’re comfortable around. someone who will always be there no matter what hell you put them through. hell. no, not hell.. i can’t believe you’d put me in hell.. no, i don’t mean that, i mean.. i don’t even know what i mean. but, whatever. what i’m trying to say is that i love you.. a lot.. & i’m stupid for it.. a stupid, stupid, STUPID girl. yes, that’s what i am. & it’s sad.. i started pushing you away recently.. did you know that? could you feel that? a couple of nights ago i did something you wouldn’t be proud of.. not at all.. but i want to make you proud, i want to make you feel like i’m not such a complete waste of time.. ‘cause i’m not.. am i? i don’t even know. but you’re not.. if you were, i would’ve been gone a long time ago.. i miss you, in every way possible.. & i hope you don’t read this, ‘cause i don’t want another fight. but i also hope you do.. ‘cause some things just need to be said, & this was one of them. i won’t even look over it ‘cause i’ll probably chicken out.. & you know that by me typing everything i’m doing, i’m stalling but yeah.. so i’m done now.. & .. yeah.

hey.. i love you. i really do. & i miss you.. i really do.

love,

Jacqueline.

dear future boyfriend,

1. i’mshy at first, so you need to break my shell
2. i don’t just want to do stuff, i want to love.
3. i eat a lot, i have a big appetite for a small girl
4. if you hurt me, i will cry, i. a m. e m o t i o n a l.
5. i’m not the type of girl to pick a fight, so please don’t start one.
6. if i like you, i really like you,not just you and two others; so please like me that much back <3
7. i get very excited about things we’ll do, you might have to calm me down.
8. i’m somewhat insecure, so please don’t talk about other girls when you’re with me.
9. i will sing obnoxiously in our car rides.
& 10. you’ll mean everything to me i’m sure, i hope i can to you, too. <3

Not studying for a test and passing it

lolsofunny:

(Source: larrynguyen, via beautifuldisasterandyounglove)